AHAA! YOU had my bum trinklet!

Hello world.
This is just me - Ninja (My real name's too boring)
And this is how I deal with my problems.


Dad: You can start dating at 32.
Ninja: AHAA! YOU dated a girl when you were 16! I know this because I have contacts!

Bausch and Lomb

xx

School batch: You kissed a girl. You are now an untouchable.
Ninja: AHAA! YOU think you're a 12th grader... but YOU are actually in preschool! Don't come too close or i'll kiss you too, a-goo-goo!

Pampers

xx


Bitch: I sent you a useless nasty messege on your mothers cell phone.
Ninja: AHAA! YOU thought I was bored enough to read your texts... but YOU were mistaken!

My mother finds you rather entertaining

xx


Physics teacher: I am sorry to report that you've failed.
Ninja: AHAA! It isn't an 18, it's an 81! YOU thought you could total... but YOU were wrong! Face the wrath of my pencil box!

Metallic Stationary

xx


Brother: I'm using the laptop, Ninja.
Ninja: AHAA! YOU thought you could boss me around... but YOU have just openly accepted me as your superior! Hand over the highly developed electronic device, fool, or face the wrath of my deadliest weapon yet - biodegradable toilet paper!

Seriously, what?

xx


Boy: I'm publicly breaking up with you on facebook. It wasn't meant to be.
Ninja: AHAA! YOU thought you were capable of love... But YOU aren't even capable of ...well.. ROOOOBY DOOOBY DOOO! ;)

"And I'd have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for that meddling Freud"

Dear John.

Matt Weddle - Hey Ya (Acoustic Cover) [with lyrics]

#3

"What if there was no light.
Nothing wrong, nothing right.
What if there was no time?
And no reason or rhyme?
What if you should decide
That you don't want me there by your side.
That you don't want me there in your life.

What if I got it wrong?
And no poem or song..
Could put right what I got wrong,
Or make you feel I belong
What if you should decide
That you don't want me there by your side
That you don't want me there in your life. "

- coldplay

Forget you!

Go Back to May (1937)

I see them standing at the formal gates of their colleges,
I see my father strolling out
under the ochre sandstone arch, the
red tiles glinting like bent
plates of blood behind his head, I
see my mother with a few light books at her hip
standing at the pillar made of tiny bricks,
the wrought-iron gate still open behind her, its
sword-tips aglow in the May air,
they are about to graduate, they are about to get married,
they are kids, they are dumb, all they know is they are
innocent, they would never hurt anybody.
I want to go up to them and say Stop,
don’t do it—she’s the wrong woman,
he’s the wrong man, you are going to do things
you cannot imagine you would ever do,
you are going to do bad things to children,
you are going to suffer in ways you have not heard of,
you are going to want to die. I want to go
up to them there in the late May sunlight and say it,
her hungry pretty face turning to me,
her pitiful beautiful untouched body,
his arrogant handsome face turning to me,
his pitiful beautiful untouched body,
but I don’t do it. I want to live. I
take them up like the male and female
paper dolls and bang them together
at the hips, like chips of flint, as if to
strike sparks from them, I say
Do what you are going to do, and I will tell about it.

- Sharon Olds

Society

Something must be wrong with me. Something must've ...switched off.
Something must've happened to make me feel this way, else however could it make sense. It can't be labelled as a phase. It isn't temporary.
I've felt this way ever since... I've encountered loss. In any form. At any instance.
Perhaps the forced reflection that came along with it hardened what was once more soft.

People. What is it about them that always gets to me?
What is it about an awkward hello that makes it absolutely necessary for all of us to say it? What compels one to join a social networking site, when its easier - SO much easier to pick up the telephone and dial a number?
What is it about feigned emotions?

Remember those "Count the differences" pictures, where two pictures seem to be identical, but on having a closer look you can point out all of what you missed before? Its just that. Hostility hidden behind your concept of the 'picture perfect'.
Normal people are so hostile. Sometimes we don't even know why we are. Maybe its to get on top, right on top. But apparently its really quite lonely up there.

Norms - You saw your parents do it. You saw your friends do it. You saw the world talk about it. And so its true. We must accept and follow a collective opinion of what is "good" and "bad", and squash our emotions into a little suitcase, which eventually gets stacked behind many others in every last corner of our mutilated hearts; It's only for the greater good you see.
Society accepts us, only after we're done with the accepting.

Parents understand that a fine crystal glass has to be cared for or it may be shattered. But when it comes to their children, they do not seem to know or care that their course of action could bring about the kind of devastation that could cut them.
Ruined forever. The very foundation of us.
All these relationships, 'friends', Marriage - WOW. The mother of all of these... concepts (to say the least)
They don't mean anything to me, god. Even you don't, honestly.
Pandora's Box. Despair. Is that what I'm left with now?

Its not that I don't believe in anything. I feel close to nature.
I believe in a higher power, the universe.
I love my brother alot, sometimes I cry when I watch him sleep at night.
I believe that I can feel these emotions, because I'm human.
But that doesn't obligate me to fake how I feel.

I'm not rash or rebellious. I know its smarter to just "play along" and fit in.
Funnily enough, thats where morality kicks in - and not the kind of morality you hear about all the time. My values belong to me. I follow my own "code".
I think that everytime I mold myself into a new 'version' of me, I kill myself a little bit on the inside. Sure for a moment or two the boundaries fade. I actually feel like I am the person I'm pretending to be. But we'd all be in hell, as Carl Jung would believe, if there was complete congruence between us and 'fake' us.

Emotion is real. Pain is real. Love is real.
So real it'll make you cry. You'll feel the blood run through your veins.
As real as the wind blowing in your face. As the many tall trees which stand together through every thunder storm. As real as the fish in the sea, and the clouds in the sky. You'll be vulnerable in the face of something you have no control over.

It's easy to be satisfied with lies. They're far more comforting, believe me.
But the truth comes along with an instant sense of gratification.
Something to finally fill up the void with.
And if being 'antisocial' (define that now, would you?) means being honest about how I feel towards most people and their respective bullshit, then I'm the meanest person around. I'm absolutely alone.
But if you reach me...really.. reach me, I could be the best friend, obedient daughter. The forgiving sister, the loving wife.

R.I.P