Paradoxical Architecture.

Yes, to be completely honest with you, I was thinking of inception when I wrote that title.
So I'm watching the Social Network, using my dad's laptop - not because its super cool or anything, but because he chose to steal mine which is bigger, better ...and well alright it isn't better but it contains most of my recorded work and audacity (its an awesome software, download if you like messing with the physics of music) and so it pisses me off to a large extent to see him type fast on "efbee" from his alternate ID called "Alter Ego". No, he doesn't have a girlfriend, its more along the lines of he likes to address social issues with a whole bunch of jobless hobos/hippies who think they can change the world with a click of a button. Yes, yes, I am aware that a digital raindrop can turn into a pixel-by-byte tsunami in the internet ocean; The best example of that would be the Jasmine revolution (which I didn't know anything about till we were asked to write about Libya when it was Endeavour house's turn to do the Wall Magazine). I'm glad that they're fighting for their freedom, but are they really getting anywhere? Sorry - too mean.
Going along with the constant stream of thought here.
Everyone's leaving. Some of them already got into college - I can still see my mother pointing a finger at me and telling me infront of my best friend that I'm going to miss him like crazy after he leaves. But that's just it.
Perhaps it hasn't hit me that they're going, or perhaps distance simply isn't a factor anymore - but I don't feel anything at all. All I can think about is that they're all actually GETTING into good colleges - will I be able to do the same?
Sure I'm good at music. Sure, I can play. But I make mistakes.
There are so many people out there in the world who can probably play better than I can. I know I understand music better than most people do, (And please. I'm not tooting my own horn here. I'm not particularly good at most things - including art, poetry, maintaining good reputations, and err. Friendships?) but I've always believed (always use this as a way of making yourself feel better) that there are 10 people in the world who are feeling EXACTLY the way that you feel right now, at this very moment. (Probably the wrong estimate, there could be hundreds, thousands.. but who wants to be miserable right?)
Am I good enough? Do I have the potential to be the Mark Zucherburg of music?
Can I be the next 'Hans Zimmer'? As Enya constantly however correctly repeated in celtic song verse - Only time can tell.
I think along with 10% luck (which is on perpetual PMS in my case), there comes a 90% requirement of hard-fucking-work. And I'm a lazy child.
So what I need is constant motivation. Something to drive (Psychological term, happy now Shweta?) me forward to be the best I can be. And so that brings us back to the start, me sitting on my bony ass. No wait, me sitting on my bony ass watching "The Social Network" and simultaneously reading up on majors in music along with googling a bit on Zimmer.
See its not much ya? But its definately a start.

RAYMAAANNNN < 3

Wanna get to know me better?
Go to youtube, type in "Rayman sountrack 3"
Listen to,
1) Outside the fairy council
2) Ascending the tower
3) Land of the living dead
4) The magic hoodoo theme
I know they aren't amazing on their own... but they're game soundtracks that I've never been able to forget. It's been 7 years :')
Whenever I listen to them I feel magical in a way I can't seem to explain.